• Blue

Ties that bind…

This song, my daughter sang solo in chorus while she was in high school. It was one of my favorites. Oddly, today I listened to this and the lyrics.

____________________________

"Gravity"

("Careful Confessions" version)

Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long.

No matter what I say or do,

Still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

Hold me without touch.

Keep me without chains.

I never wanted anything so much

Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free,

Leave me be.

I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be,

But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile

When I thought that I was strong.

But you touch me for a little while,

And all my fragile strength is gone.

Set me free,

Leave me be.

I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity.

Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be,

But you're on to me and all over me.

I live here on my knees

As I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.

But you're neither friend nor foe

Though I can't seem to let you go.

The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down.

Keeping me down.

You're on to me, on to me and all over.

Something always brings me back to you.

It never takes too long.

_______________________

Not only did I envision her standing strong. I can hear her voice, so powerful and clear.

I was in the auditorium with my ex. At this time, the lyrics didn’t hit me as I knew she had her reasons for choosing this song. But today, I shed tears remembering my ex. I feel it’s powerful meaning.

After he committed suicide, I went through so much. I had a bucket of emotions, it was hard to tell how I should manage the sadness, anger, confusion, pain, loss and emptiness.

But the lyrics of this song, perfectly describes the hidden ties that bind. Will they ever sever? There are moments of happiness that I feel. But it doesn’t take long to realize the feeling only can go so far. I can feel the tension as it builds while in my mind I can focus on that elated feeling, but then I’m snapped throwing my body like a puppet. Then I’m left with an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

It then pulls me down and I hold my breath, hoping I’ll feel the bottom so I can push myself back to be able to fight until I can reach the shores. I want to believe one day, these turbulent waters will subside. Everyday there’s something lately that keeps me off track while trying to survive this life I’m now living.

I think about my new friends and the good vibes I get. I’m so grateful that I’m at this point. But it didn’t come to me easily. People say I’m lucky. If the only knew I’ve paid the price for this lucky life. I know luck had nothing to do with it.

#emptiness #pain #suicide #SuicideAwareness #mystorychallenge #mystory #findingmyself #lossofalovedone #gonetoosoon #healing #healyourself #struggle #lost #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness